New Year often fails to live up to its hype

New year's came and went with me mired in misery and worry over the thing that should bring the greatest joy into my life: my relationship with Jesus and my Brethren. Once more I find myself at war with the brethren because of the rumors and lies they are perpetuating at my expense. I doubt that more than one or two of them actually know the truth of why they feel compelled to destroy what we have worked so hard to establish, but they apparently inflamed the passions of many by means of secret meetings, whispered conversations and telephone calls - none of which I was aware. Five days in the hospital and a 30 day heart study hopefully will not reveal any problems. I am becoming very discouraged with this Christian walk, simply because of the company we're often thrown together with on the journey.